If you want clarification ask. You needn't accuse me of something so utterly stupid.
For many months I had first encouraged—then eventually told her—to express her own thoughts and opinions rather than repeating those of others. The questions she asked me I would return and she would not answer them.
I stopped being so open with her. She continued asking questions. I would answer, but with facts and minimal personal information.
She constantly oversteps reasonable boundaries. One example being at my wedding, where the context of the conversation leading up to her question should have made it blatantly obvious, especially considering that we rarely speak and have never been close at all.
I do not care if she was excited by the prospect of my being her family. It was horrifically tone deaf and inappropriate. Upset, she shared with Noctis the things I told her but not what prompted me to say them.
I had told her she is evasive and even when she speaks the truth it feels dishonest, as though she's playing a role she never studied for.
She thanked me for being candid with her.
Later she sought me out privately over a month later to give me a wedding gift from her and Noctis to Ardbert and I. It felt like bribery and I could not accept it. I told her as such.
She has all the knowledge she needs to know that if she wants to foster a positive relationship that it will need to start from scratch, and conversations cannot be one-sided. I don't care what the conversations are about so long as there is equivalency, and she doesn't continue repeating the same inane gushing compliments over and over.
I was perfectly happy with things as they were before. Our relationship was polite, but distant. It worked fine. Then Noctis found out I don't trust her or like her and it has been a spiraling shitshow ever since.
I do not blame her for the way she is. What I blame her for is being told repeatedly what I have trouble with regarding our interactions, her acknowledging it, and then being surprised when I bring it up down the line after nothing has changed, as though it was the first time she ever heard it.
I wish her no ill will. I just cannot deal with her as she is. It is an incompatibility, and I am resentful that I was made to feel like it was solely my responsibility to make it work. I do not see why a cordial, impersonal relationship would not be acceptable.
You could say this situation has been the catalyst for my subsequent breakdown. It is better for them all if I am not involved in their lives, as all I am good for is hurting others.
no subject
For many months I had first encouraged—then eventually told her—to express her own thoughts and opinions rather than repeating those of others. The questions she asked me I would return and she would not answer them.
I stopped being so open with her. She continued asking questions. I would answer, but with facts and minimal personal information.
She constantly oversteps reasonable boundaries. One example being at my wedding, where the context of the conversation leading up to her question should have made it blatantly obvious, especially considering that we rarely speak and have never been close at all.
I do not care if she was excited by the prospect of my being her family. It was horrifically tone deaf and inappropriate. Upset, she shared with Noctis the things I told her but not what prompted me to say them.
I had told her she is evasive and even when she speaks the truth it feels dishonest, as though she's playing a role she never studied for.
She thanked me for being candid with her.
Later she sought me out privately over a month later to give me a wedding gift from her and Noctis to Ardbert and I. It felt like bribery and I could not accept it. I told her as such.
She has all the knowledge she needs to know that if she wants to foster a positive relationship that it will need to start from scratch, and conversations cannot be one-sided. I don't care what the conversations are about so long as there is equivalency, and she doesn't continue repeating the same inane gushing compliments over and over.
I was perfectly happy with things as they were before. Our relationship was polite, but distant. It worked fine. Then Noctis found out I don't trust her or like her and it has been a spiraling shitshow ever since.
I do not blame her for the way she is. What I blame her for is being told repeatedly what I have trouble with regarding our interactions, her acknowledging it, and then being surprised when I bring it up down the line after nothing has changed, as though it was the first time she ever heard it.
I wish her no ill will. I just cannot deal with her as she is. It is an incompatibility, and I am resentful that I was made to feel like it was solely my responsibility to make it work. I do not see why a cordial, impersonal relationship would not be acceptable.
You could say this situation has been the catalyst for my subsequent breakdown. It is better for them all if I am not involved in their lives, as all I am good for is hurting others.